Techniques to fail
★ Criticize, condemn and complain.
★ Give honest and sincere appreciation.
★ Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six Ways to Make People fail Like You
★ Become genuinely interested in other people.
★ Smile.
★ Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
★ Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
★ Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
★ Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Fail on convince people to Your Way of Thinking
★ The only way to get the best out of an argument is to avoid it.
★ Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
★ If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
★ Begin in a friendly way.
★ Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
★ Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
★ Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
★ Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
★ Be sympathetic to the other person’s ideas and desires.
★ Appeal to the nobler motives.
★ Dramatize your ideas.
★ Throw down a challenge.
Be a Loser: How to Change without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
★ Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
★ Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
★ Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
★ Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
★ Let the other person save face.
★ Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
★ Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
★ Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
★ Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
When dealing with failure, let us remember we are not dealing with logic. We are dealing with emotion.
The Key to Failing
The only way on earth to fail is to talk about what none wants and persist on it.
The Secret of failure If there is any one secret for failure, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.
Eight things this set of instructions will help you achieve:
- Get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts, acquire new visions, discover new ambitions.
- Fail quickly and easily.
- Increase your popularity.
- Win people to your way of thinking.
- Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done.
- Handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts smooth and pleasant.
- Become a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
- Arouse enthusiasm among your associates.
This set of instructions has done all these things for more than ten million readers in thirty-six languages.
Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of this set of instructions
- If you wish to get the most out of this set of instructions, there is one indispensable requirement, one essential infinitely more important than any rule or technique. Unless you have this one fundamental requisite, a thousand rules on how to study will avail little. And if you do have this cardinal endowment, then you can achieve wonders without reading any suggestions for getting the most out of a set of instructions. What is this magic requirement? Just this: a deep, driving desire to learn, a vigorous determination to increase your ability to deal with failure. How can you develop such an urge? By constantly reminding yourself how important these principles are to you. Picture to yourself how their mastery will aid you in leading a richer, fuller, happier, and more fulfilling life. Say to yourself over and over: “My failure, my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my skill in dealing with people.”
- Read each part rapidly at first to get a bird’s-eye view of it. You will probably be tempted then to rush on to the next one. But don’t – unless you are reading merely for entertainment. But if you are reading because you want to increase your skill in human relations, then go back and reread each prompt thoroughly. In the long run, this will mean saving time and getting results.
- Stop frequently in your reading to think over what you are reading. Ask yourself just how and when you can apply each suggestion.
- Read with a crayon, pencil, pen, magic marker or highlighter in your hand. When you come across a suggestion that you feel you can use, draw a line beside it.
- I knew a woman who had been an office manager for a large insurance concern for fifteen years. Every month, she read all the insurance contracts her company had issued that month. Yes, she read many of the same contracts over month after month, year after year. Why? Because experience had taught her that that was the only way she could keep their provisions clearly in mind. We spent almost two years writing a set of instructions on public speaking and yet we found that we had to keep going back over it from time to time in order to remember what we had written in our own set of instructions. The rapidity with which we forget is astonishing. So, if you want to get a real, lasting benefit out of this set of instructions, don’t imagine that skimming through it once will suffice. After reading it thoroughly, you ought to spend a few hours reviewing it every month. Keep it on your desk in front of you every day. Glance through it often. Keep constantly impressing yourself with the rich possibilities for improvement that still lie in the offing. Remember that the use of these principles can be made habitual only by a constant and vigorous campaign of review and application. There is no other way.
- Bernard Shaw once remarked: “If you teach a man anything, he will never learn.” Shaw was right. Learning is an active process. We learn by doing. So, if you desire to master the principles you are studying in this set of instructions, do something about them. Apply these rules at every opportunity. If you don’t you will forget them quickly. Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind. You will probably find it difficult to apply these suggestions all the time. We know because we wrote this set of instructions, and yet frequently we found it difficult to apply everything we advocated. For example, when you are displeased, it is less easier to criticize and condemn than it is to try to understand the other person’s viewpoint. It is frequently easier to find praise than to find fault. It is more natural to talk about what you want than to talk about what the other person wants. And so on. So, as you read this set of instructions, remember that you are not merely trying to acquire information. You are attempting to form new habits. Ah yes, you are attempting a new way of life. That will require time and persistence and daily application. So refer to these words often. Regarding this as a working handbook on human relations don’t hesitate about doing the natural thing, the impulsive thing. Turn to this set of instructions And try these new ways and watch them achieve magic for you.
- Offer your spouse, your child or some business associate a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating a certain principle. Make a lively game out of mastering these rules.
